


What We Could've Been

by mango22



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: F/M, they just lay it all out basically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-10-31 13:54:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10900704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mango22/pseuds/mango22
Summary: Post 4x05. Sana and Yousef have an honest conversation.





	What We Could've Been

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo, now that my rage has calmed down lol, I tried to write fairly for Yousef's part too, tried to get into his mind to see what could've possibly motivated him to act the way he did and at the end of the day it's all speculation and theories so till the show brings us closure here's what I cooked up!

She shouldn’t be here.

 

She shouldn’t have responded to his text, she shouldn’t have answered his call, she certainly shouldn’t have walked all the way back to this spot, where they had had their first honest conversation.

 

But the questions burning up her mind needed some answers.

 

_Why? What was the point of it all then, if he was only going to turn around and pretend that she didn’t exist?_

 

No, hiding away wouldn’t do this time. She wanted the truth.

 

He looked surprised as he saw her approaching, as though he had expected her to change her mind at the last second.

 

He’s bouncing a ball, an actual basketball this time, and gives her a small smile. She had none to spare.

 

He came a little closer but Sana made no move to meet him in the middle so he stopped walking and just stood there, searching for a way to begin.

 

“Thank you for giving me the chance to explain.”

 

Sana gave him a curt nod and motioned for him to continue.

 

“I saw you watching me and Noora, just before you turned around and left. And I called your name a few times but you ran away. So I wanted to tell you my side of the story.”

 

She gritted her teeth as the biting response to his casual way of describing the situation rose to her lips, but she pushed it back down. She had promised herself that she would hear him out, listen to whatever excuse he had and then speak her mind and be done with it. Gain some fucking closure.

 

“I don’t know where we stand Sana. I like you, and for a while I thought you liked me back but then I revealed I wasn’t a Muslim and you shut me out. I was sad but I thought once we talked it out, we could move past that. And then we did and I was so happy that you shared something so special to you with me and didn’t judge me for my reasons, as we walked back to your house I thought we truly had a chance.”

 

He took a pause and clamped his lips together, looking broken and confused.

 

Sana did nothing to fill the silence so for a while the only sound was the _thud, thud, thud_ of the ball hitting the ground, matching the rhythm of their heartbeats.

“But then I began to think, what if all we will ever be is friends? What if our differences are too big to overcome? What if there will always be a barrier between us? And that thought…of just remaining friends with you…”

 

“I thought it would be best to distance myself from you.”

 

Sana couldn’t actually believe her ears. “So you do that by making out with one of my closest friends?! After sending me out to stop a brawl between my brother and my friends?”

 

“No! That was just…I…I tried to stop Elias and he wouldn’t listen to me so I thought it would be best to tell you, since I knew you were the only one who could get him to stop. I was gonna follow you out when Noora just came in front of me and said something about how she’s been thinking about me for some time and then she just kissed me. I was surprised at first and then I just reacted. My feelings for you, the conflict between us, this whole goddamn situation, it all came to a head and I just lost myself in the moment…” he trailed off as he saw the look on Sana’s face. Disgusted would be an understatement.

 

“That’s your reasoning? If you’re gonna give up at the first sign of trouble, then why try in the first place? What’s the point to any of it then?”

 

_What was the point of “are you looking into my eyes now”?_

_What was the point of “anything for you?”_

_What was the point of taking the blame for her?_

_What was the point of always being there for her and then pulling the rug from under feet so cruelly?_

“You gave up on me too! I’m not the only one who decided to cut ties when things got difficult, the message behind your silence after that Friday was loud and clear Sana.”

 

She heaved a deep sigh. He was right. She had given up all too easily just like him. But the difference was she hadn’t made out with one of his best friends to drown her sorrows.

 

“You know what the saddest thing is Yousef? Like you, I too was willing to believe we had a chance. I was willing to open that door, to make that compromise, and see where it took us.”

 

He closed his eyes and shook his head, as if he couldn’t will himself to believe what she was saying, no matter how hard he tried.

 

“Sana…”

 

_Inshallah, she had said. It seemed so long ago._

“Whatever it is you and Noora decide to do, I wish both of the best. She is my ‘friend’ after all. Just one thing Yousef.”

 

She turned away because she didn’t want to look at his face when she said,

 

“Don’t break her heart like you broke mine.”


End file.
